GENDER BASED VIOLENCE
Freedom isn´t something you ask for, it´s something you take
Quiero amarte sin absorberte,
Apreciarte sin juzgarte,
Unirme a ti sin esclavizarte,
Invitarte sin exigirte,
Dejarte sin sentirme culpable,
Criticarte sin herirte,
Y ayudarte sin menospreciarte.
Si puedes hacer lo mismo por mí,
Entonces nos habremos conocido
Verdaderamente y
Podemos beneficiarnos mutuamente
Virginia Stir
At HerTherapy we work to promote relationships based on mutual respect and equality. At the present time, gender based violence is a social problem which impacts a large number of women around the world. Therefore, in addition to offering psychological counseling to women victims of gender violence, on this site you will find information about the meaning of gender violence, warning signs that may indicate that you are involved in an abusive relationship, as well as resources, where you can call and be provided with support and help. Because in order to break the cycle of violence, the main step is to talk about it. Remember you are not alone, reach out, CONTACT US.
The United Nations defines violence against women as "any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life." United Nations. Declaration on the elimination of violence against women. New York : UN, 1993.
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Gender based violence has been and continues to be one of the clearest manifestations of inequality, subordination and power relationships of men over women. In short, women suffer violence just because they are women, and the victims are women of any social, educational, cultural or economic status.
There are different types of gender based violence, the most common of which is intimate partner violence which refers to behaviours by an intimate partner or ex-partner that causes physical, sexual or psychological harm, including physical aggression, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviours.
SIGNS THAT MAY INDICATE THAT YOU ARE INVOLVED IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Unfortunately, we live in a society where about 1 in 3 women have suffered from abuse, and this situation is so common that it makes it difficult for us to identify warning signs that can help us realize that we are in an abusive relationship and that we need to seek for help. The following are some of the possible control behaviors that can be presented and which you should be attentive of:
YOUR PARTNER:
-Criticizes the way you dress, your point of view, your likes/dislikes...
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-Tries to control what you do and who you go out with. He wants to know everything you do, and demands explanations.
-Does not respect your opinion, always tries to impose his own.
-Does not like your friends and/or family, he wants you alone, isolated.
- He reprehends you constantly.
-He has physically assaulted you, pushing you, slapping you, throwing some object at you.
-Verbally insults you (bitch, whore, you can´t do anything right...).
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-Tries to manipulate you into having sex when you do not want to.
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-If you contradict his opinions and commands, he becomes aggressive, yells at you, threatens to leave you.
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-Does not let you work.Controls your finances.
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-Gives you the silence treatment, or disqualifies everything you say or do.
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-You feel that whatever you do, it is never enough for your partner.
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-When he loses control and is either/or both physically or verbally violent, he then apologizes, promises that he will change, but it keeps on happening, more and more frequently and with every episode you notice he is getting more aggressive.
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¿HOW TO HELP?
There are multiple ways to help if we know someone who is involved in a abusive relationship. Mainly, we must be aware of the fact, that gender violence is a crime and therefore punishable by law. In order to be of help we must take into account the following statutes:
WHEN TRYING TO HELP I:
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RESPECT confidentiality. It is important that the victim feels safe and that she herself is the one who goes to the authorities and/or the psychologist.
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LISTEN, to be able to accurately understand the message.
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SUPPORT. Let the victim know that she is not alone.
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ASK. The only way to know if someone you know is going through this situation is to ask directly.
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DO NOT JUDGE the victim, NOR JUSTIFY violence under any circumstance.
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BELIEVE what the victim says.
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VALUE her feelings. ALLOW her to cry.
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COLLABORATE in planning immediate security strategies, in order to minimize the risk of a new aggression.
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ENCOURAGE the victim and the aggressor to receive psychological treatment.
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ACCOMPANY to the hospital if she has suffered physical injuries and ask for a report of the injuries.Assaults must be documented.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
ASK FOR HELP.
If you are in a situation of violence or you know someone who is, do not hesitate to contact us.
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HELP LINES
- HELP LINE FOR VICTIMS OF GENDER VIOLENCE
Dial #155
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-EMERGENCY HELP LINE
Dial #123
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-LÍNEA PÚRPURA 01 8000 11 21 37
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